I have a tiny close-knit group of friends as it probably is with most people in their thirties. I no longer find the need to have a big group of friends, which was something that I yearned for through my college years and early twenties. I now prefer talking and interacting with friends with whom I share common values and who push me to do more with my life. I studied in an all-girls school and my oldest friends are all girls. I grew up with a small girl gang and I loved the comfort my girl gang gave me. But it also meant that I naturally gravitated toward female friendships. My closest friends in my college years were also women. I did find some men friends but I never felt as comfortable as I did with my girl gang. Also, a close friendship with a man usually led to romantic feelings (one-sided ones) when we were younger. Only in my mid-twenties did I finally make close male friends with whom friendship was just friendship to the point where I enjoyed spending time with my male friends more than my women friends. But now in my thirties, I have a close-knit group of both female and male friends but I do notice a lot of differences between the friendships I have with both. The differences were interesting enough to spark the thought in my head and also motivate me to put it down into a post to see if others have a similar experience.

So what are the differences between my female friendships and male friendships?

• Women become less available to their friends once they are in a committed relationship or get married – This is not a rule but in general, I have observed that my women friends usually dedicate less time to their friends once they are in a committed relationship. Men on the other hand tend to keep up with their friends just as much as they used to before they got into a relationship. I have found exceptions to this but in 85% of my friendships, I have observed this pattern.
• Women are better at giving emotional support to their friends – Again, this isn’t a rule but I have found that my women friends do tend to give me better emotional support when I need it. In comparison, I do think men are better for situations where I need more practical advice minus any drama.
• Women are more fierce and loyal as friends – My enemy is definitely my female best friend’s enemy on the other hand my male best friend wouldn’t think twice before becoming best friends with my enemy. In general, women friends are always on your side (even if you’re totally wrong.)
• Friendships with men entail less drama – We, women, are more emotional and tend to rake up some drama sometimes. I have had far crazier fights with my girlfriends than I have with my men friends. Women also tend to be less frank about their emotions and thoughts in comparison to men which tends to lead to some misunderstandings.
• It is easier to share just about anything between women – I can discuss any topic under the sun with my female friends. Love life, career, family issues, doctor’s diagnosis, shopping – there isn’t any topic that is off limits. With men on the other hand, while no topic is off limits, it is easier to talk about some topics and skim over others.
• I enjoy getting my male friend’s perspective – It is always interesting to get my male friends’ perspectives on things because it is usually very very different from my own perspective. With my women friends on the other hand, we do tend to have similar perspectives on most things (definitely not on all).

What do you think about your friendships with your male and female friends? Are they different? Do you tend to gravitate towards one set of friends more in particular situations? Do you relate to my thoughts? Do share!

If you haven’t already, don’t forget to check out my other recent posts:

• Things I Never Got To Say To You
• Choices
• And Now I…
• Life Update – Happy Panda Is Back (Maybe?)
• I Got Inked – My Experience, Dos, Don’ts and More (Tattoo Newbie)

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